Luke 2:4 – “And Joseph, also went up from Galilee, from the town of Nazareth,
to Judea, to the city of David, which is called Bethlehem
…to be registered with Mary, his betrothed, who was with child.”
This scenario is not what either Joseph OR Mary had previously planned. Imagine, instead of the bubbling excitement of a week-long Jewish wedding… instead you found yourself pregnant, packing up your belongings and taking a very long journey across miles of desert. And it is likely that this occurred with a community that misunderstood what God was actually doing through you. Instead of warm congratulations or encouragement, it is possible there were looks of scorn instead. As a pastor’s wife, have you been there? Do you know what it feels like to have your ministry journey unfold in ways you never could have predicted or asked for? Or maybe what it’s like for others to misunderstand the calling God has put on your life and your decisions to follow?
Though Joseph and Mary were already betrothed when the angel came to her, the celebration at the end of the betrothal time had not yet occurred. This was called the “Nissuin” as the bride’s dwelling and place of work transferred from her parents’ home to the groom’s home and the marriage was officially consummated. This ceremony had a celebratory feast, vows and a wedding meal. We aren’t told in Scripture if any of these festivities occurred. Even Joseph did not believe Mary at first until God came to him in a dream (Matthew 1:20). Through the limited view of human eyes, this wasn’t “the plan.”
There have been moments in my ministry journey as a pastor’s wife that I have been resolute… “I know why I’m here…for this moment…this situation…this person.” And there have been moments I’ve faltered, wondered and questioned…moments where nothing looked like I had planned.
Perhaps…at the end of a ministry year… you are wondering what God is doing with smashed plans too. Things like…
- My husband made a decision at church I don’t agree with…I don’t know what to do & things are tense at home.
- I want to stay at this church but he wants to go.
- Attendance keeps going down. We don’t know how to change that and we’re discouraged.
- It’s hard for me to watch my husband carry feelings of failure on his shoulders.
- Finding friendships in this town was harder than I ever imagined; I don’t want to stay.
- My kids are struggling and I don’t know how to help them.
- I’m weary of what feels like constant evaluation and criticism..this isn’t anything like what I thought it would be.
What do you do when things seem so far off course from what you planned? Where do you go?
1). Go back in your mind to what God asked YOU to do. Not your husband. Not anyone else. Just YOU.
Luke 1:30 – “But the angel said to her, Do not be afraid, Mary,
you have found favor with God. You will be with child and give birth to a son,
and you are to give him the name Jesus.”
Mary didn’t step out in faith based on Joseph’s assignment. She stepped out in faith based on hers. Even though Joseph would absolutely be part of this…it is interesting that the angel is speaking directly to her in this moment, without mentioning Joseph’s name.
Do you remember what He spoke to you? What He asked of you? How He called you by name? What was that? He didn’t commission you on accident. Though we don’t know all the details in the journey of Joseph and Mary, there are so many perils that could have happened on that journey to Bethlehem that didn’t. What God said to Mary, He made come to pass…through His power and orchestration.
2). What is the next thing (today) you feel Him asking you to do? Not worrying about 6 months from now. Today. That’s where the grace is.
Mary knew she needed to pack for Bethlehem. Running errands & packing provisions in the Yeti cooler for this long journey likely seemed so ordinary and so menial and so different from a wedding feast. But what seemed like ordinary obedience was paving the way for the Savior of the world. You don’t know how taking one more obedient faith-filled step impacts what you cannot see yet.
3). When the hope and the wonder feels lost in the assignment, ask God for it. Be specific. He hears you.
“Lord, I beg you to restore hope, wonder and warmth in my heart that is hard to feel in an assignment that is not turning out at all how I planned it. Help me to take one more step today.”
Luke 1:45 – “Blessed is she who has believed that what the Lord has said to her would be accomplished.”
Luke 1:38 – “For nothing is impossible with God.”
We love each of you so much. Don’t give up. Merry Christmas from all of us cheering you on at Alongside.
RESOURCES:
Here are some additional resources to explore specifically through the eyes of a pastor’s wife in discussing the often wild twists & turns of a ministry journey.
Marriage Missions International
Julie Lynn Ashley – Alongside Ministry Wives
