When my husband and I first stepped into ministry, we were both tasked as Children’s Pastors. We stepped in with trepidation. I had been a school teacher and my husband had worked in sales. Were we up for the task? Were we smart enough? Were we strong enough? Have we prayed enough? Have we heard God enough? Certainly there were others more “qualified” for this job. I remember talking to God about all the reasons that someone else could be a better fit for this growing ministry. We were willing and God assured us it was enough. Following a strong sense that the Lord was leading us, we proceeded to step out while under our breath reciting, “oh God, oh God, oh God.”
I think our Lord loves when each of us comes to this place. We are dependent on Him. We are seeking Him and we are listening to Him.
As we got going in ministry and gained some confidence, we still relied on God but not with the same dependence. Some of that was healthy for us. We had learned to trust in the voice of God. He had grown us in wisdom so we didn’t need marching orders to make each decision. Experiences with people showed what works and what does not work. We had learned our place and calling in the kingdom of God. And that’s when we leaned into the same old routine until it was comfortable.
We found God likes to shake it up. Even if we have a routine or style that is tried and true, we do best to be seeking God, asking if it is still how He wants us to proceed. Just because it has worked before does not mean that He is guiding us in the same way NOW.
Later we stepped into a different staff role at a church some years ago. The women’s events included a yearly Women’s Tea. A well- meaning woman let it be known, “things can change but DON’T TOUCH THE WOMEN’S TEA”. It was a drab and out-dated event and I remember feeling, “who in the world could I invite to something like this?” I didn’t even feel comfortable inviting my own daughters! (Are you feeling the boredom?) The men served and mustered up plastered-on smiles, but there was no resuscitating this idea back to life. I could understand there was a love of tradition. And we did follow along and participate in the tradition for a couple of years. But I had to ask myself if it left women with a sense of boredom to be a Christian. Instead we hopefully encourage others that life in Christ brings with it a vibrant community. Were we listening as women’s ministry leaders to how God sparks new life, or was it easier to just continue in the status quo?
When we have labored over a tried and true task, do we walk away with the main emotion being, “Check! That’s done.” or “Look what God did?” It’s so easy to get busy and just hope for the best while recirculating ideas. I’m hoping that instead we respond with a level of awe and humility that God allowed us to participate in His work, keeping in the forefront of our minds that He is the One at work. He allowed us to participate with Him. Reaching for events which stir each other up to love and good works is our goal. (Heb.10:24)
Sometimes a really fine line surfaces between feeling up to the task and leaning on our own grit. This determination itself isn’t wrong unless it is not submitted to God. I hope as we seek God about next steps in ministry we’re not forgetting that it’s not about us. It’s no longer about whether we’re a great speaker or a great leader, but rather about whether we are willing to serve God. Remembering He is the One who is great. We just have to be in a posture of stepping aside to let God Himself work through us.
Consider these questions in thinking about our heart posture:
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Do we get recognition out of the task or are we serving others?
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Could we let go, step aside, and let someone else take the lead?
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Are we willing to raise up another leader to take our place?
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Do we walk away from an event feeling tired but fulfilled, or too proud of what we’ve done?
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Do we get our identity from the position in ministry or from relationship with Jesus?
How do we get back to serving with humility? We lay the ministry back at the feet of Jesus. We sincerely ask Him to speak to us about which direction He wants the ministry to go, and truly wait for the answer. We even ask, “Does He still want us to be the one leading it?” Is He highlighting someone to mentor and raise up to take our place? And then we need to be willing to hear the answer.
An area my husband and I are praying about is his ministry overseas. He has been going twice a year for 16 years, and I have gone with him 4 times. He takes many people, and it is truly good work. But we need to stay open to asking, “Is his routine still what God is directing or is it just easier than switching it up? When is it time to step aside and let others take over?” Only God can answer that question for him.
And what about that holiday event that is always done a certain way? Could you possibly approach Easter or Christmas differently? (Gasp! Those holidays are so much work on a staff, why would I suggest changing things?) Are we willing to bring that to the Lord, ask Him if it should be done the same way? Is it a welcome tradition or time for a change? I leave a holiday event so refreshed when it doesn’t feel like it was dusted off and put back in place. New life can spring from surprising ideas, awaking both those who have been around for a while and visitors who are new.
I have to admit I don’t always welcome the idea of starting from scratch. Refurbishing an idea might be the right move. And repeating an idea doesn’t necessarily mean it’s not what God had in mind. Sometimes the planning is just about leadership learning patience as we all get on the same page. But with each event it’s time to pray. Time to ask God what HE wants.
Let David’s prayer be our prayer:
I know, my God, that you test the heart and are pleased with integrity. All these things have I given willingly and with honest intent. And now I have seen with joy how willingly your people who are here have given to you. O Lord, God of our fathers Abraham, Isaac and Israel, keep this desire in the hearts of your people forever, and keep their hearts loyal to you. 1 Chron. 29:17-18
RESOURCES
Here are some additional resources:
No Cookie Cutter Pastor’s Wife: Tips on Leaving Behind Expectations
RL Anderson | Alongside
Why Intentional Reflection is Crucial and How to Do It
Coletta Smith | Alongside
