It was a “happy/sad” text. A church member had invited me to a spring charity game night, but I was receiving this text invitation 24 hrs ahead of time. Someone had likely canceled and I was “Plan B” for this pre-arranged table. This sparked an inner wrestle of how to reply and started an inner tapping on “pastor’s wife shoulds” and insecurities. While I recognized even a late invitation is still an extended hand (and an opportunity for ministry), it still stings a little to know you weren’t 1st pick.
I knew it would be a good idea (in the interest of building relationship) to accept this invitation, but it sure would have been more comfortable to stay home. The older I get, the more I find God calling me into places that intimidate me. I know when this happens, He and I are going on an adventure that will require new trust. This whole scenario was right up that alley. So with that outlook, I said yes. (Plus..being honest…I’m always looking for a way to get out of cooking dinner and lasagna was involved).
When I arrived, the table atmosphere was exactly what I had expected. People who had known each other for years were chatting and trying to draw connections for me. “Our kids grew up together!” “Our kids were in band together!” “We’ve known each other since first grade!” I felt like shrinking and inwardly categorized myself as the one who didn’t belong.
Someone introduced me with the “pastor’s wife” title like a big thick speed bump, “This is our pastor’s wife…uhhh…I mean…she’s not just that …. she’s also my friend too…” The only deep conversation I had that night happened fifteen minutes before the event was over, with a local MD in a professional interchange I didn’t expect. I explained what I did for a living, working with grieving people as a thanatologist (grad work specifically in bereavement & grief care). She asked thoughtful questions, listened attentively and requested my business cards. I thanked the table hostess who had invited me and said goodnight.
The next Sunday, I followed up with the table hostess and listened to all the work she had done to finish the event (a relational connect point we didn’t have before). I was looking for any bright spots I could find in this thing.
Then the connections from this evening went silent, until months later in late summer.
An email came out of “nowhere” at an extremely opportune time. To my surprise, the MD I’d shared my story and business cards with that night had been handing them out…liberally. A grieving person had approached me for help. I sat there humbled and grateful. God knew all along the chain of events that would lead to me being able to do what I love and help someone new.
“Our obedience to God is part of a larger chain of events we can’t necessarily see…but God can.”
Our obedience to God (even in small things or awkward pastor wife life scenarios) IS part of a larger chain of events we can’t necessarily see…but God can.
An interesting thread on the topic of obedience runs from I Samuel 15 to Esther 3 in the Old Testament. In I Samuel 15:3, King Saul had been commanded by God to destroy the Amalekites. God said to totally destroy them and He had reasons for this that Saul could not see at the time. Saul disobeyed this command and in I Samuel 15:8, he spared Agag, King of the Amalekites. Doesn’t seem like a big deal to spare one guy, right?
Fast forward to Esther 3:1. Queen Esther, a Jew, is up against an enemy, Haaman, the Agagite who is plotting to destroy all the Jews. Haaman’s ancestry? It is interestingly tied ALL the way back to King Agag who Saul did not destroy years before as God said to. Yikes.
Y’all. This is huge. So many people were affected negatively years down the line by one seemingly small act of disobedience decades before.
Is God still in control through all our mistakes and missteps? Yes.
Could we help others who we haven’t even met by doing exactly what God has asked even in awkward pastor’s wives scenarios that pop up sometimes? YES.
So in your pastor’s wife life, where is God calling you to trust Him:
- With a small act of obedience that has created a wrestle inside you?
- Into something risky?
- Into something you’ve never done before?
- Reaching out to someone God has opened your eyes to?
Listen to the nudges inside God has put inside you. Ask Him for direction on those nudges. They are there for a reason…sometimes for BIG reasons you can’t see. There are generations ahead, people you haven’t met yet, you can impact with your obedience to God..in the big and the small things.
