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SAYING GOODBYE: WHEN PEOPLE LEAVE YOUR CONGREGATION (WORKSHEET)
Alongside is a ministry of the Mission Hills Association
by Coletta Smith | Healing, Printable Resources
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Alongside is a ministry of the Mission Hills Association
I am a midwesterner (Illinois and Indiana), and have lived in the Denver area since 1993. 4 grown children who are married and 10 grandchildren. Married to Dennis for 15 years, who also has 4 children from his first marriage. We have a total of 21 grandchildren and 1 great-grandson. Past careers include: stay at home mom & Navigator staff for 12 years, professional musician (piano and french horn), and private music instructor before retiring fully in 2020. My passion is to walk alongside (disciple) women one on one and in small groups, and I am blessed to be in a season of life that allows for this. This is my “job” now and I love it! I am honored and excited for the opportunity to support this ministry in a coordinated and intentional matter through prayer. I believe prayer is foundational to any and all ministry, and deserves a central place in our individual and collective lives. Without intentionally inviting the Holy Spirit into every aspect of our lives, we are simply spinning our wheels. I believe prayer will support, empower and free the wives within the Alongside ministry to thrive in their personal lives, marriages, families, and ministries in ways they could never imagine. Other hobbies include: working out (for real), hiking, tennis, reading, and crochet.
Tessa is an encourager with a strong desire to help others discover the love of Jesus and their true identity in Him. She finds great delight in ministering to women and inspiring them to pursue their godly purpose as royal daughters. Tessa and her husband, Michael, are blessed to worship and serve at New Breed Church in Louisville, Kentucky. As a mother of two, her family is transitioning into the season of launching young adults, with their eldest heading to college soon and their youngest being not too far behind.
Tessa is passionate about leadership and organizational development, specifically within ministries and companies, and has a B.S. in Organizational Leadership and Learning.
Michael and Tessa have been married almost 20 years, walking hand in hand in the adventure of life and ministry together. In addition to being a pastor’s wife, Tessa works full time in a leadership capacity in a university system, volunteers with several community-service based ministries and organizations and loves the smell of a good perfume or candle.
My husband and I have served in full-time ministry for the past 15 years in nearly every church leadership position. Today we minister along with our 4 children leading a home-based church in northern Indiana.
Immediately after transitioning into a new church, I was invited to join my first Alongside cohort in 2020. These wonderful women came beside me with the support, guidance and friendships that I longed for. It’s an honor to have this opportunity to serve the precious ministry women who also understand the joys and struggles of serving out their calling.
Besides serving with Alongside and my home church, I am blessed to be a homeschooling and chauffer mom of four. Whenever there is “spare” time, I delight in discovering new adventures, writing, reading, gardening, and going out for coffee with friends.
My husband, Eric & I have served together in ministry for nearly 35 years, with the past 18 being in pastoral ministry. Being in ministry can be challenging as a family and equally as challenging as an individual. But with all of the challenges, I have loved sharing this journey with my husband, my 2 children and my beautiful grandchildren.
In ministry, I have a deep passion for taking care of and loving on people. Through focusing on congregational care, women’s ministry and leading community groups alongside my husband, I get to share that passion and connect with our people.
In this season of life, I am finding so many new joys outside of ministry like reading, spending time with my family, exploring thrift stores, and my absolute favorite…date nights with my husband. I am so thankful, honored and blessed for this opportunity to connect with and encourage other women who have been called into this life of ministry!
My husband Matt and I have spent over forty years in ministry: seven as campus ministers, 35 where he was lead pastor or Stone Hill Church at Princeton, and the last three as the founders of Linden Grove Ministries, where we mentor pastors and Christian leaders. Whether in Sunday school or the secondary school classroom, at a home school or YMCA pool, one-on-one or leading community Bible studies, I love to help others learn. I also enjoy reading, swimming, traveling, and sharing life with mybhusband, two grown sons, two lovely daughters-in-law, and five active grandchildren.
What a joy and privilege it is to follow Christ and to serve Him! I have been in full time ministry alongside my husband for over 20 years. We are parents to four amazing young men, and we are “almost empty nesters” as they launch into college and their own careers.
My heart’s desire is to walk alongside and support others in the midst of uncertainty. Because of my personal journey, God has called me into spaces to serve those who are experiencing grief, suicide-related grief loss, anxiety, PTSD, mental health, church hurt, marriage, and parenting. I strongly believe that God is the lifter of our heads, and that struggles and trials are important parts of our story that must be seen, recognized, and remembered.
Walking, hiking, jogging, reading, and spending time with my family delights my soul. I enjoy volunteering for various roles within my church and community, and I have had the honor to serve as a facilitator for GriefShare for over nine years. A fun (and surprising) fact about me is that I am a hobby breeder of AKC registered Cocker Spaniels.
Rick and I have been in ministry for all our married life. We started young and naïve in youth ministry but with great hope for sharing the goodness of God. We’ve been in many roles, from being associate pastor to solo pastor to lead pastor of multi-staffed churches. We have also served in marriage ministry for twenty years, which strengthened us as a couple.We’ve experienced the beautiful highs of ministry but also the devastating lows. God has been faithful in every season. I’ve seen Him work in me to grow forward and press on in His grace.
Currently, Rick is the church liaison for Disciple Heritage Fellowship. His main role is pastoring other pastors and does church consultation. I travel with him as much as I can. My desireis to encourage women in their faith, especially those in ministry.
We have served churches in Illinois, Kansas, and Arkansas. Recently we moved to Texas to be closer to family. We have two adult children and six grandchildren.
I love to teach from the Word and speak to women’s groups about our identity in Christ.
For relaxation, I enjoy playing worship music on piano, walking or hiking in the outdoors, and getting hugs from grandchildren.
Hello! I have served a wide variety of roles in my long journey of serving God in ministry—I’ve been a church planter, a pastor’s wife, and a worship leader. My approach to ministry has been shaped by how God’s taken me through the highs and lows of life and ministry. Early in my journey, I worried I didn’t stack up to other pastor’s wives I’d met. I thought I had to fit a certain mold to be accepted and able to serve the Lord until He showed me that I didn’t need to change who I was. Instead, He gave me the path within ministry that fit my wiring and strengths. We don’t need to have all the answers because He equips us as we go! I’m really looking forward to becoming more involved with Alongside Ministries!
Julie Lynn holds a Masters of Science in Thanatology (death, grief and bereavement), is a member of the Association for Death Education and Counseling, mom to Landon and Kyle (both in college) and wife to her very best friend of 27 years, Doug, who is a lead pastor in Texas. Julie Lynn has worked and volunteered in the hospice industry for years and there developed a God-given passion to support grieving people. She now has her own grief support ministry (both in person and online) where she works with people one on one who need support following a death loss. For more info on Julie go to www.julielynnashley.com
I love variety. My favorite thing to do is to ‘wander’, observe life and to explore the connections of all that God has created- both nature and people. My husband will attest to my tendency to follow rabbit trails and possibilities. I also love putting things together, things like reorganizing a closet, sewing, refinishing furniture, or on a rainy day a jigsaw puzzle.
God has more than satisfied my desire for variety in His design of my life. My husband, Jim, and I married with a commitment to being a ministry team. Jim has led ministry in various settings and depending on Jim’s ministry and season of life, my role in our ministry team has changed from co-laboring side by side with Jim (my preference) to pursuing a career to help meet the financial needs of our family.
Jim’s roles required us to create and then leave homes in seven different cities along the east coast from Vermont to Miami, Florida, finally settling south of Boston 7 years ago. During those years we were blessed with 3 children, our oldest is a girl, and our boy/girl twins are two years younger. Our two girls and their spouses have blessed us with 4 grandchildren and an adopted grandchild. Life has been full and not boring!
While enjoying variety, the transitions and the unexpected was sometimes unsettling. A Quote from Seneca the Younger comes to mind; “If a man does not know what harbor he is making for, no wind is favorable.” Thankfully God is our harbor and uses whatever ‘winds’ we face to accomplish His purposes. As ministry wives we need to have confidence in God’s unchanging character and plans and to know how to navigate and leverage the many ‘winds’ that come our way. Sometimes the fog hinders a view of the harbor, and we need one another to see clearly. My greatest joy is conversations that lead us to remember where the harbor is and the resulting freedom to explore and discover God’s pathway forward.
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I am passionate about finding ways to flourish even in difficult situations for myself and other ministry wives. I have been in ministry with my husband for 7 years as we have planted a young church in the urban core of Cincinnati, Ohio.
I grew up in east Tennessee in a family of eight adopted siblings from different countries. I spent 2 years in South America in missionary contexts, once as a high schooler and once as an adult. In college, I worked with unchurched high school students through a parachurch ministry in a small town. Finally after getting married, God solidified our call to church planting and directed us through a period of discernment to move to Cincinnati where we have been ever since.
I am especially invigorated by one-on-one and small group ministry. I find a lot of life through daily walks, journaling, and the very smallest attempts at a vegetable garden. Most of my day-to-day work involves loving and chasing our two young daughters.
I have been so blessed and encouraged by the ministry of Alongside Ministry Wives and I hope to encourage other women in any way possible to continue pursing Jesus in their own ministry contexts.
I first felt the call to mentoring and discipling woman while in college. When I married my husband, Don, his call as a pastor helped shape the context into which I would live out my calling alongside him. We planted Christ Redeemer Church in New England 23 years ago which we continue to serve in side by side. God has done a tremendous work in a very challenging place! We have been blessed with four children, all adults now, who have been a part of our ministry all along the way. As we watch them launch into their own callings now, we are humbled and relieved for their love of the Lord and their faithfulness to the church. Ministry takes a toll on families in so many ways, often not revealing those realities until many years later.
It has been our great privilege to be in one place long enough to watch people’s lives be transformed by gospel truth. I have served in a variety of rolls over the years which has allowed me to lead, teach, counsel, speak to and mentor/disciple woman of a variety of ages. I continue to wear many hats all fueled by my passion to “love” people well, to see them become all of who God has called them to be, and most of all experience the deep love of the Lord we have been invited to know and privileged to serve. I have a special concern for pastor’s wives and woman in ministry understanding the unique challenges they face.
I also love cooking for people, spending time with family and friends, long drives and sitting at the beach-especially at sunrise. My brand new obsession is my first grandchild, Mary, who has captured my heart in new ways!
I am a church planting wife, mom to two amazing teenage boys, and an elementary school teacher.
When my husband and I and our two toddlers set out to plant a church, we didn’t know what we were getting into. Planting a church was the most challenging and amazing thing I have ever done. However, God made himself real to me in a whole new way through those difficult times. As a result, he strengthened my marriage and my relationship with Himself (after I made many mistakes). Now that we are 12 years into our church plant and 19 years into our marriage, I desire to walk alongside other church planting wives as they embark on the challenging and rewarding journey of starting a church from the ground up. I want to make sure they don’t feel alone like I did in those early days and that their marriage and family stay strong to enjoy this journey in which God has called them.
Jenna and her husband, Mark, are blessed to worship and serve at Calvary Church in Englewood, Colorado. They are currently in the business of launching young adults into the world as their oldest, Zoe, now attends Colorado Christian University and Elijah is a licensed driver juggling sports practices and games.
Jenna is passionate about home discipleship and leads the ministry of Family Time Training (famtime.com).
Mark and Jenna have been married for over 20 years and live in Littleton, CO. In addition to being a pastor’s wife, Jenna gives her time to volunteering with Littleton Public Schools and is learning to love being a “dog mom”!
I am a church planter’s wife, mama of six kids, enneagram coach and a “gatherer”.
I love the outdoors, swimming, paddle boarding, biking and HIT training classes, cheering my kids on in their dreams, my dogs, parties, quiet mornings, restoring homes and encouraging people in their transforming and healing journey with Jesus.
My husband and I planted the church we are privileged to serve 20 years ago with a team of amazing people! In ministry I have had the opportunity to serve as the children’s ministry coordinator, a life group leader, marriage group facilitator, women’s bible study coordinator, mama’s group coordinator, church planting assessment facilitator and a host for many events in our home.
This phrase is from the song “Oh Holy Night”.“ “When He appeared the soul felt it’s worth..” I have personally experienced that in my life. It is my great joy to facilitate and create spaces for people to encounter Jesus in deep and transforming ways.
When my husband graduated from seminary, my mother-in-law arrived at our house bearing gifts for me! She said, “I know that Eugene would never have been able to do all that he has without your help and support!” What an honor she gave me that day! Often being the pastor’s wife much of what you do seems unseen and we are surprised when someone else takes notice. Over the course of forty years, my husband and I have partnered in ministry from youth work to Eugene being the main pastor in large churches and small. I have led girl’s bible studies, organized young mother’s groups, spoken on retreats, and partied with the unchurched over dinner. I have hosted countless groups of people in my home from those who live in our neighborhood to missionaries from around the world. What a privilege it has been to share our lives with those whom God has sent our way.
On this journey, we have seen the good, the beautiful, the difficult and yes, sometimes the ugly things that go on within people of God called the church. But we have always seen God’s hand in what we’ve been called to do and felt his grace in our lives.
Some of my other titles over the years have been, Mommy/Mom from our three children. Hundreds of elementary age students have called me Mrs. Scott and I was named Maestra by my adult students learning to speak English. But my favorite title these days is being called Nana by my five beautiful grandchildren. Oh my! I never knew what joy that title would bring. I only wish they lived closer!
My latest favorite pastime has been exploring the rugged Colorado Trail. At this post Eugene and I have hiked about forty miles through the Rockies. It has been so fun to take a different trail and discover what is around the corner. While hiking, I have been reminded how far you can go by putting one foot in front of the other and how hiking is much like serving the Church. It takes some twists and turns and often there may be some unexpected storms, but God is always there to lead us and help us to find shelter when needed.
I am preparing for another transition as God continues to teach me how to bloom where He plants me in each season. I was raised a ministry kid, being born a MK in the Philippines, school years as a PK in my family’s home state of CO, to graduating as a M for 17 years back in Southeast Asia raising 2 kids. I thought I was going to Bible school to become a single missionary teacher when my brother dared me to ask my now husband of almost 25 years out on a date little did I know the adventure ahead.
We served on the 2nd largest island of the world giving access to some of the last reached remote tribes. My ministry changed constantly as did our location and colleagues. I taught at the international school, a 2 room school house, ESL at local Bible school, homeschooled, & mentored national women in aerobics. Hospitality was my middle name though I don’t enjoy cooking, much less from scratch. I thought moving to the ministry hub would let me return to my formal training. God had other plans when our house burned to the ground and I came down with a chronic illness that eventually led to us making the tough decision to leave the field. Since our return to CO God has brought healing not just physically but on more levels than I knew I needed. Cross cultural ministry life has unique challenges that home based friends have a hard time wrapping their minds around. On the other hand, find another cross- culture worker and it is like you speak the same language even if you served half a world away. I want to help women find those connections that bring God’s healing balm to the conversation.
I love exploring together with my hubby God in his creation! Overseas that took us on many great dives including discovering whale sharks in our “backyard.” Did you know they have a spot pattern unique to them as your finger print is to you? I call it the finger print of God. Returning to Colorado we have found tandem bike riding to be our new getaway. Our last ride God had a dessert tortious meet us on the path, creation testifies! As my youngest heads to college in the fall we are embracing empty nesting and excited about ministry opportunities God is bringing about.
I married my high school sweetheart our senior year of college and now have four amazing kids! We have three amazing sons and one beautiful daughter. My husband and I have known each other since we were ten years old. I grew up in a home that served anywhere and anytime the church was open. My favorite thing to do is spend time with my family! We love adventures and anything competitive.
My husband is the lead pastor at our church plant. We have had many years in a large multi site church ministry, church planting and youth ministry. I am currently running our children’s ministry and love this call God has in my life. This season has been a joy to walk along side my husband as we start this church. Being a pastor wife has shown me how to walk in the trenches with my husband as we serve, pray for others and make sacrifices, but also gift being a pastor wife is.
“yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my Savior.” Habakkuk 3:18 NIV
I am a displaced New Yorker living in deep South Texas-right along the border wall so famous today! My husband was called into the ministry shortly after we got married, much to my surprise, and we started our journey into ministry. Guided by the Lord to begin a church plant, we have had many adventures in the world of ministering to others. The Lord opened doors to me that I never would have dreamed possible. From teaching, to doing big productions, to leading women’s ministries, He has done great things in our lives, in spite of the fact that neither my husband nor myself are from this area where we have lived as the minority for the past 45 years.
I love the verse in Psalm 84:11, “No good thing will He withhold from those who walk uprightly.” It has certainly been the truth of our lives! I have four grown children, all married, and nine grandchildren. I recently retired with my husband from full time pastoring, but I still love the church, the leaders of the church, and the mission of Jesus Christ in the church. I think the Body of Christ can be the biggest blessing in anyone’s life, even if it does come with hiccups!
For as long as I can remember I’ve always been energized by a good adventure. I love visiting new places and cultures, and discovering landmarks and stories (cemeteries are the best!). God certainly knew my adventurous heart when He led me to marry an MK from Bangladesh! Together we’ve served overseas and stateside in pastoral leadership for both church plants and established churches.
Even before we were married I found myself in the “ministry partner” space and through the years have functioned in just about every ministry role. I currently serve on staff at our church strategizing ministries, creating events and connecting people—especially to reach those who are yet to know Jesus. One of my main delights and investments has been raising our three children—who also took many adventures with us. I have “no greater joy” than to see how God is using their global upbringing to deepen them and give them impact for the wider church.
And now I’m also “Nana,” which is proving to be the sweetest adventure of all
Crystal is a trained Spiritual Director, Counselor and Pilates instructor and enjoys using every bit of each of these practices to ignite women’s curiosity and love for the Lord! She most often meets with people to talk about anxiety, life transitions, intimacy with the Father and marriage. She counseled and led leadership healing intensives in East Asia for missionaries serving in several mission agencies for 20 years. She has lived in Denver with her husband and daughters for the last 7 years.
I am all about family. It doesn’t matter what we’re doing; I just love spending time together. You’ll find me with my biggest smile when I’m at Disney World, shopping for bargains or eating bacon. I’m passionate about building up women, in particular pastor’s wives. There is joy to be had and much Kingdom work to be accomplished as we embrace this glorious burden and calling in ministry.
My husband and I are elementary school sweethearts and have been in ministry for over 25 years. We have two amazing kids (Lauren -19 and Garrett – 12) along with our dogs Potato and Tucker. We have planted a church, been on staff at small churches and at very large churches. There is an underside to ministry that can’t be escaped due to our humanness; but I believe there is a beauty of Jesus Christ and His church that must been experienced and seen by us, our kids and those we lead. I want to help pastor’s wives know your value and help you step boldly into your calling as we love and lead others toward living Jesus centered lives.
I am an adult “third culture kid” which means when you ask me where I’m from, I give a complicated answer! I was born in Panama, raised as a missionary kid in Ethiopia, served as a missionary for fourteen years in Austria and Poland, and lived for short or long periods in a few different states. My husband, Mark, and I have partnered in ministry for 38+ years, following God’s call to teach and train men and women to fully engage in His mission. We have mainly been involved in theological education, but also had an eight-year stint in pastoral ministry along the way. Wherever I land, I seek out opportunities to come alongside students and wives, encouraging, mentoring and discipling them; for the last 10+ years that’s been at Denver Seminary.
I truly love meeting people, engaging in meaningful conversation and encouraging them in their walk with Jesus. I also enjoy gardening, walking for exercise, hiking these beautiful mountains, downhill skiing, snowshoeing, being in or on water, reading many different kinds of books, and studying God’s word. We love welcoming folks into our home, for a meal or a night. Mark and I get to travel together for his job, and we relish every opportunity we have to head back overseas. My second favorite “job” in my life was raising my three children, because my all-time favorite is being “Grammy” to my six (and counting) grandchildren!
I am a homeschooling mom to seven wonderful kids ranging in age from early twenties to two! I have six daughters and one son. I grew up as a Missionary Kid in East Africa, went to a Christian college, and then married a pastor. So I’ve been a part of the ministry world for my whole life!
My husband and I have served in pastoral ministry for over 23 years together. We’ve been in big and small churches, rural and suburban. We’ve worked in youth, family, and lead positions. This unique position can be challenging, both as a family and an individual. But I truly feel privileged to share this journey with my husband and kids, and to impact God’s great kingdom!
When I’m not focusing on ministry or teaching my kids, I love to walk or hike in God’s beautiful creation, read a good book, enjoy a good conversation or play games. I also love traveling and experiencing different cultures. I am passionate about helping other women on their journey with Jesus, and I love that I get to encourage other women in this tough but beautiful call as a ministry wife!
A few of my favorite things… flowers, horseback riding, skiing, helping women know God through His Word, hiking with my family… doing anything with my family, getting to the important stuff in a conversation, and seeing women in ministry embrace their Calling from God and walk in courageous faith. I’m passionate about being a team with Craig, my husband, and watching God do much more through us together than He does through us as individuals. This gig is hard at times and continuing to engage it takes guts… but He continues to remind me that it’s worth it.
God has had me in lots of different roles, from middle school and high school teacher to Event Planner and Speaker Manager for a non-profit, to homeschooler and mom – all the while being a Pastor’s wife, committed to being in the “trench” with him, navigating the obstacles together and shepherding whatever flock God calls us to with courageous passion. We’ve been in ministry for about 26 years, serving in very diverse church situations (from a plant to a megachurch and everything in between, in the youth pastor, worship pastor, Assoc Pastor and Lead Pastor spaces).
My husband and I have attended Calvary Church for over 25 years and Jeff has served as a Pastor/Elder for the last 12 years. Our heart is for family discipleship and loving people through community and hospitality.
Our current season of life has us raising 4 boys and moving them through high school and college.
You can often find me in a coffee shop listening and sharing the kindness of God I have experienced throughout my life during the many seasons of marriage, parenting, and ministry.